


it feels like home with you

by colourmeblue



Series: you're the light (i want you close) [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-05
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-09-06 16:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8761417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourmeblue/pseuds/colourmeblue
Summary: The smile on Alex’s face lingers for a little too long, and Maggie enjoys it a little too much.(or, the missing moments from 2x08 where Maggie finally figures it all out)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short little thing that was originally going to be based post-2x07, but I have included moments from 2x08 as well. It’s a combination of missing moments and canon moments through Maggie’s perspective. I’ve only written canon things from Alex’s perspective so far, and I’m interested in exploring Maggie’s side of it.

Maggie Sawyer is one of many who know that Supergirl has been dubbed ‘the girl of steel’ by her adoring fans. However, National City’s most beloved crime fighting alien seems to have nothing on her. She’s sure if the walls she’s built up were any more solid, someone would break bones trying to knock them down.

They’d hurt themselves in the process, which is exactly what happened to Alex.

When it comes to Alex, Maggie doesn’t know where the off switch is. Who else did she have in National City? Just her exes and _maybe_ a couple of the people she worked with. However, she doesn’t have the unique relationship with them that she does with Alex. With Alex, she can talk about either work or her personal life, and it never seems to be complicated. She doesn’t have to hide information about cases, or tell her to back off if she’s hit a nerve. Alex understands her, and it’s just _easy_.

The kiss made it complicated. But she would never blame Alex for having feelings. Once Alex left her at the bar that night, Maggie began to pour over every interaction in her mind. There is no doubt in her mind that she likes Alex, and anyone would be lucky to be in a relationship with her. It’s the flipside that worries Maggie. _Alex_ wouldn’t be lucky to be in a relationship with _her_.

It’s something she’s thought about a lot since her last girlfriend broke up with her. This amount of failed relationships has to lead to something on her end, right? She wouldn’t put Alex through that, not when she had just come out. Not when she was so important to her. Not when she could potentially lose one of her best friends because of it.

When Maggie finally arrives at the bar, she’s twenty minutes early. She doesn’t want to be late, because she doesn’t want Alex to think that this isn’t important to her. She orders a beer and hangs around the bar talking to M’gann, mostly so she doesn’t seem too awkward standing by herself.

As the minutes tick by, she’s starting to wonder if Alex will even show up at all. Sure, Alex was the one who invited her, but she’s still unsure about where she stands with her. The entire exchange at Kara’s apartment is a blur in her mind. Maggie isn’t one to get nervous often, but a surefire way is when she’s expressing her vulnerability. She doesn’t know how to be vulnerable, it’s not in her skillset. Somehow, Alex brings it out of her with ease.

It happened with her last girlfriend. She opened up, she got too close, she fell for her. Then, she broke her heart as if it was nothing. As if she never mattered. When Maggie loves, she loves with everything in her. She doesn’t know how to do anything halfheartedly, but if even a single word of what her ex-girlfriend said to her was true, then she was no good for Alex. She would only hurt her in the end. Friendship was the only conclusion she could come to where she didn’t lose Alex completely.

It wasn’t fair to either of them, really, but Maggie feels selfish. She doesn’t want to let Alex go. And she won’t, not as long as Alex still wants her there.

It’s then that Maggie notices movement near the entrance of the bar. The bouncer moves aside and allows Alex to walk past him. Maggie feels a warmth bubble up inside of her as soon as their eyes meet. It’s dangerous, she knows it is, but any feelings she did have for Alex have only been amplified since the kiss, and there’s nothing she can do about it.

However, she knows how to behave herself, and she knows how to keep her emotions hidden under the surface. Plus, she’d do just about anything to have the pleasure of Alex’s company.

“Danvers!” She greets her in her usual fashion as Alex approaches the bar. She wants things to seem as normal as possible. Alex looks hesitant, but Maggie hopes she warms up to her soon enough. “You made it.”

“You didn’t think I’d come?” Alex asks, raising an eyebrow and leaning against the bar. “ _I_ invited _you_.”

Maggie smiles. “I _may_ have had my doubts.”

“Honestly? I only came because you owe me that drink.”

Maggie’s smile widens. Alex is making a joke, which can only mean things with her are slightly better than she expected. “Coming right up.” She turns towards M’gann, who gives her a look she recognizes all too well, and goes to grab a beer for Alex.

That look is typically reserved for when Maggie is starting something with a new woman.

Maggie tries her best to ignore M’gann. She doesn’t want to turn this into anything more than it is. She turns back towards Alex. “So I was promised a game of pool.”

Alex chuckles, bringing the bottle to her lips. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”

Maggie smiles. She’d be too embarrassed to admit it out loud, but she would happily empty her wallet if it meant she got to spend more time with Alex. “I’ve been practicing, Danvers.”

“Oh, have you?”

“Prepare to be amazed.”

Maggie sees Alex roll her eyes, and she smiles. She feels warm at the thought of Alex showing up for her. Trying to be friends with her. It’s a huge step for the both of them, and the fact that Alex didn’t want to lose her either made her happier than she thought. Alex has become a key person in her life, and all Maggie can do now is treat her as such.

They play their first game, and even with Alex giving her tips, Maggie loses miserably. If she’s being honest, she’s not paying too much attention to the game in front of them. She spends most of the time watching Alex. The way she moves, the way she lines up each shot, and the way she bends just the right amount before doing so.

Maggie knows exactly what this is. She knows that real feelings are forcing their way to the surface. She knows because those feelings have been there ever since she and Alex had words at that very first crime scene. She presented a challenge, and it wasn’t long before circumstances drew them together again and again. Now, Maggie has formed an attachment. Something she tries _not_ to do, if she can help it.

“You’re still terrible at this, Sawyer. You’re lucky I’m not taking your money this time.”

Maggie rolls her eyes. “If you want a real challenge, you should take me to the shooting range.” She’s not sure how much luck she’d have against a trained DEO agent, but she’s a hell of a lot better at it than pool.

Alex laughs. “Oh, is that right? You’re on.” The smile on Alex’s face lingers for a little too long, and Maggie enjoys it a little too much.

Maggie clears her throat, tilting her bottle towards Alex. “You want another?”

\------

When she hears about the attack on the alien bar, she feels like a piece of her heart has been ripped out. It’s no secret that she’s a local, she knows a lot of the aliens that frequent the bar. She’s spoken to a lot of them, and she even _dated_ a few of them. She’s happy that she wasn’t there, because to sit there and watch them die when there wasn’t a single thing she could do about it was not something she could handle. In a way, they were her own mismatched version of a family. They were all she had before she met Alex.

Speaking of Alex, she’s the first person she talks to after it happens. Alex calls her less than an hour after the news breaks, and Maggie is at the DEO half an hour later with a flask tucked into her back pocket.

When Alex sees her, she approaches her quickly, and doesn’t hesitate to pull Maggie wordlessly into a hug. It takes a moment for Maggie to reciprocate, but once she does, she grips the back of Alex’s jacket tightly. In that moment, she realises that she doesn’t have anyone else. Somehow, all she has is Alex, and at the same time, Alex is the only person she’d ever allow to see her like this. She’s the only person who would understand.

“I’m so sorry, Maggie. I wish I’d been there, I could’ve done something—”

Maggie doesn’t cry, but she’s emotional all the same. “You couldn’t have stopped it.” It’s not anyone’s fault besides the asshole who did it, and Maggie just wants him gone. She doesn’t matter who does it, but she won’t rest until he he’s either dead or locked up.

When she pulls away, she holds on tightly to Alex’s forearm, as if the lack of touch will cause her knees to buckle. She doesn’t know what to _say_ or how to process an alien massacre in a place that was always dubbed as a safe haven. The worst part was, they don’t know _who_ is dead yet. She doesn’t know who amongst the dead were people she was once close with. People she spoke with casually on a daily basis.

“I could’ve tried,” Alex argues, her eyes defiant.

Maggie shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter now. I just… I _need_ to help you catch this guy. Okay?” She knows that if she doesn’t help, it will drive her insane. “You can’t make me sit out of this one.”

Alex nods. “Yeah, of course. We won’t stop until we’ve got him. You know I’ll call you as soon as we have any leads.”

Maggie turns away, feeling the frustration build up inside of her. There’s nothing she can _do_ during times like this. She’s not Supergirl, and she definitely doesn’t have any powers. Not only that, but she’s bound by her job, and she has to follow the rules in order to keep it. Alex is in a secret government organisation, that alone stretches her limits far beyond what Maggie can do. The skills she has and the technology she has access to far outweighs anything Maggie has to offer.

She feels useless, and she hates it.

“You know, so many of those aliens won’t even be identified. A lot of them don’t have families or loved ones.” Maggie kicks the floor with her boot before turning back around to face Alex. “And the ones that can be identified, nobody will care enough to do it because they’re not human. They’ll be thrown away like they’re nothing.”

“Hey.” Alex steps forward and places a hand on her shoulder. “If nobody wants to do it, then _we’ll_ do it.”

Maggie chuckles, dropping her head. “Alex, that’s not your job.”

“Then I’ll make it my job.” Alex sighs. “Look, you’re not doing this alone. You have me. You’re stuck with me through this, you don’t have an option.”

When she looks up at Alex again, her eyes are watery, but Alex doesn’t comment on it. “You don’t need to do that.”

Alex’s answer is almost immediate. “You would do the same for me.”

It’s true. She would do all of that, and then some, for Alex. “Yeah, I would.”

“Exactly.” Alex nods. “So we’re gonna catch this guy, okay? I promise.”

Maggie sighs heavily, trying to rid the mental image of dead aliens lying on the floor of her favourite bar. She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out the flask, holding it gingerly in her hands.

When Alex realises what it is, she laughs. “Of course.”

Maggie smiles. It’s not full of light like it usually is, but it’s a start. She holds out the flask to Alex. “You interested?”

\------

After she’s shot, the only thing she remembers clearly is seeing Supergirl standing over her saying her name. She doesn’t remember being taken back to the DEO, but is keenly aware of Alex standing over her as she lies on a bed in one of the rooms there. She feels her shoulder burn where she was shot, and she can see bloodied plastic gloves discarded on the table next to her. Alex isn’t in any kind of rush, which makes Maggie think that her situation isn’t all that urgent.

“Maggie?” Alex looks at her, placing a gloved hand on her forehead. “You’re okay. We’re going to patch you up.”

Maggie nods, and she suddenly realises how groggy she feels. “ _Jeez_. How did I get here?”

“Supergirl flew you. You lost some blood so you’re probably feeling a bit woozy.”

Maggie can tell that the burning feeling is beginning to numb. Alex removes her hand and begins fiddling with a needle. Maggie wants to say something about how she always seems to be there when she needs her, but she stays silent. Instead, she watches each stitch, trying to focus on something _other_ than the pain. Alex is clearly inexperienced, but having a scar doesn’t bother her. She’s just happy to be alive.

“I thought you’d be getting one of your lackeys to do this for you.” Maggie chuckles. She knows there would be a dozen people who have been hired by the DEO just to do this kind of work and that Alex didn’t need to be here at all.

Alex smiles slightly. “I wanted to do it. Plus, I don’t trust anyone else not to mess up.”

Her answer makes Maggie smile, but Alex doesn’t see it because she’s focusing on her stitches. She takes the opportunity to search Alex’s eyes for any hint of emotion. “So I’m good,” she says. It’s more of a statement than a question.

“You’re good,” Alex replies. The smile on her face has traces of relief. “Thankfully. I’m the reason you went to L Corp in the first place. You’re lucky you were only hit in the shoulder.”

Maggie chuckles. “Alex, come on.”

Alex shakes her head. “Sometimes I forget how dangerous your job is.”

“ _My_ job? Look around, Alex. You’re in a top-secret government facility. I think we should be worrying more about you.” It’s mostly a teasing remark, but there is underlying truth to Maggie’s statement. Technically, Alex’s job isn’t even on the map. If something ever happened to her, Maggie might not ever know about it.

“You don’t have the level of protection that we do, Maggie. We’re trained to protect ourselves against all kinds of alien life. I don’t want anything to happen—”

“Hey, whoa, nothing’s happening to me.” Maggie interrupts her with a gentle smile. “I’m not going anywhere. Don’t even start with that.”

She tries to search Alex’s eyes again but she comes up empty.

Alex shakes her head. “Sorry, just… hearing ‘Maggie was shot’ wasn’t the highlight of my day.”

Maggie nods. “I get that.” She knows she would be on edge too if the roles were reversed. If she’s being honest, she’d probably be worse.

Alex drops all emotion and chooses to scold her instead. “Anyway, you were stupid to go in there without full riot gear.”

Maggie sighs. “You told me to get there right away. I didn’t exactly have time to suit up.”

Alex gives her a look. Maggie instantly feels guilty.

“It’s not your fault, Alex. You know it isn’t.”

Alex only nods, and Maggie doesn’t push the subject any further. Alex wouldn’t be blaming herself if it was just another one of Maggie’s team, and Maggie really doesn’t need the special treatment. Although, she is getting the first class medical treatment from someone who really doesn’t need to be here, and she’s certainly not complaining about that.

They sit in silence, and Maggie doesn’t mind. It gives her an excuse to watch Alex’s face carefully as she does each stitch, and she can even see her body language change under her gaze. Alex’s attraction to her intrigues Maggie, but she doesn’t shy away from it as a fact. Alex can’t help the way she feels, and it’s definitely not something that’s unwanted on Maggie’s end.

In fact, it’s mutual. Despite the fact that Alex might not know that.

Maggie thinks that maybe it’s time she does know that.

\------

It’s been a very long time since she’s kissed someone and felt a real fire.

Sure, her ex-girlfriend had meant a lot to her, but honestly, if Alex was kissing her, she wouldn’t even remember her ex’s name.

She’s standing in a living room, kissing a woman who’s wearing pyjamas and tastes like whiskey, and she knows this feeling is a first for the both of them.

Maggie feels her cheeks burning where Alex is touching them, and she didn’t know just how much she wanted this until right now. Honestly, she wasn’t sure that Alex would reciprocate after she had hurt her. She was worried that she would be too late after their conversation at the DEO. Alex decided she was ready to live her life as an openly gay woman, and Maggie realised that she wanted to be a part of that.

She could get lost in this feeling forever, and the thought terrifies her.

When Maggie pulls away, she feels tears prick her eyes. She mentally kicks herself, because she promised herself she wouldn’t cry in front of Alex while she was doing this. The kind of emotion and vulnerability she was already showing was hard enough to navigate without adding tears into the mix. Before she even has a chance to react, Alex’s hands are at her cheek again, wiping away what falls from her eyes.

“You know,” Alex starts. “I really thought I was supposed to be the messed up one out of the two of us.”

The comment makes Maggie laugh, which seems to please Alex.

“That’s better.” Alex’s voice is soft, and Maggie is only just beginning to realise how attractive she finds it. She finds that there are a lot of little quirks Alex has that she finds endearing. Like how her eyes get soft when she’s nervous, or how her smile is probably the only thing Maggie would notice in a room full of people.

Maggie dares herself to look at Alex again, but it takes her a moment to speak. “Sorry, I’m just...”

“It’s okay to be scared. I am too.”

Maggie nods, almost glad she didn’t have to say the word herself. She knows she has to work on expressing herself better. Exploring emotions is not something she’s used to, even with a multitude of ex-girlfriends under her belt. Not to mention that it’s different with Alex. She has no room to screw up here. Not when she’s Alex’s first girlfriend and she cares too much about what happens to her.

A look of understanding crosses Alex’s face. “I think you know that I’m the last person who would ever hurt you.”

Maggie nods again. She believes that. Alex still wants to be with her after the pain she put her through, and that means something to Maggie. Besides, if anyone’s been labelled the heartbreaker in the past, it’s her. “Are you sure this is what you want?” She has to be sure. She’s not going down this road with another girlfriend only to be hurt.

“You? Of course.” Alex looks at her fondly. “Maggie, I’ve been looking for you… my whole life.” The words seem to overwhelm her as she says them, and Maggie feels as if her heart has just dropped into her stomach. “Screwing that up isn’t a part of the plan.”

Maggie nods for a third time, then laughs quietly. “Okay, I’ll take that.” She looks back up at Alex again, a tender smile on her face. “And I think… I’ve been looking for someone who’s been looking for me.”

Alex’s thumb brushes gently across Maggie’s cheek. “Then I think it’s time we both stopped looking.”

\------

“Last slice,” Maggie says, offering the pizza box to Alex. She’s at an awkward angle, sitting against the couch’s armrest with one leg trapped underneath Alex’s body. She shed her leather jacket for the sake of comfort, and all she can really feel is the warmth of Alex’s body against hers. Which she would prefer to _anything_ in her wardrobe.

Alex shakes her head as she drinks the last of her beer. “You can have it.”

Maggie bites her lip. “Actually, I’d rather have something else.”

Maggie knows Alex is able to understand the glint in her eyes, because her lips turn upwards once she looks at her. Alex is already half in her lap, which it makes it easier for her to lean down and catch Maggie’s lips with her own. Alex shifts into a more comfortable position, and Maggie accommodates her. Maggie’s hand slides into her hair, and the alcohol in her system only makes her heart race faster.

Sure, it’s probably not-so-rare that she has a girl on top of her, or beneath her, but this was different. She broke her own rules to do this with Alex. She came fresh off a heartbreak to do this with Alex. She tried to be guarded with Alex, but she just can’t. She’s in far too deep with her already, and somehow, Maggie thinks Alex is everything she ever wanted.

Alex’s kisses are careful, as if she’s still testing and navigating, and Maggie lets her. They have plenty of time, and Maggie is more than happy to just melt against her. She’s not used to going at this pace with other women, and it’s a lot nicer than she remembers. She feels honoured to be the first woman that Alex chooses to be with. She just hopes the imprint she leaves on her life is a positive one full of happiness.

When Alex pulls away, she’s completely out of breath. Maggie can only smile up at her, and she starts absentmindedly playing with the ends of Alex’s hair.

“Did I mention that I’m proud of you for coming out to your mom?”

“You didn’t, but thank you.” Alex smiles. “She likes you, I think she wants to meet you. Y’know, properly, not as my friend the NCPD detective.”

Maggie raises an eyebrow. “She _likes_ me? Just how much have you told her about me?”

Alex shrugs, and Maggie can only laugh. “I may have… mentioned you a few times.”

Maggie smirks. “Is that right? I’m flattered.”

Alex rolls her eyes, but Maggie can tell that she’s embarrassed.

“I would love to meet her though,” Maggie adds quickly. “It doesn’t have to be right away. Whenever you’re comfortable.”

Alex looks intrigued. “I didn’t peg you as the ‘meet the parents’ kind of girl.”

Maggie gives her a half shrug. “Just because I haven’t met a lot of parents, doesn’t mean I don’t want to. With the right person.”

Alex gives her a teasing smile. “Wow. Smooth.”

Maggie continues to smile, but it doesn’t take long until it falters. “You know, I was kind of worried you’d say no.”

“To meeting my mother?”

“No, to me. I thought you were going to turn me away when I said what I had to say.”

Alex smiles, and Maggie fills her heart fill to the brim at the sight. She tucks a piece of Maggie’s hair behind her ear, thumb gently gliding along her cheek. “We’re both finally on the same page. There was no point in putting off the inevitable.”

Maggie’s smile returns. “The inevitable, huh?”

Alex shuffles in an attempt to get more comfortable. Maggie can only look at her in her pyjamas with her hair pinned back thinking about how lucky she is that she has been given a second chance by such an amazing person. That the universe actually wants her to be with someone for more than five minutes. Someone who was very quickly knocking down this walls Maggie had built up over time.

Alex sighs, watching Maggie intently. “When I said that me coming out wasn’t about you, I didn’t mean I wanted to live my life without you in it. I _want_ you in it. I want you to be one of the biggest parts of it. Now this has happened, I don’t want to see you walk out of it.”

“Alex…”

Alex’s expression becomes wary. “Am I freaking you out?”

Maggie laughs. “No, just… come here.”

Pulling Alex closer, Maggie waits until she’s close enough to see the doubt in her eyes. Their noses brush, and although Maggie has dated a lot of girls in her life, somehow being this close to Alex is enough to make her heart do somersaults. It scares her, because she’s sure there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for her, including any and all life-threatening things.

Not to mention, she’ll probably never get tired of kissing her.

Alex is still slightly shaky, and Maggie doesn’t blame her. If Alex is feeling half of what she’s feeling, then she understands completely.

Maggie looks between Alex and the coffee table. “You know, I might actually take that last slice.”

Alex smiles, leaning over towards the pizza box. She takes the final slice out and goes to give it to her. Before she can hand it to her, Maggie leans forward, taking a bite out of the slice.

After she swallows, she laughs and takes the slice from Alex. “This is truly amazing service I’m receiving.”

“Well, it’s for a truly amazing woman.”

Maggie smiles widely, dimples and all, and Alex waits until she finishes eating before lying back down. Alex lets out a deep, content sigh and closes her eyes, her arms snaking around Maggie’s waist. It’s intimate in a way that Maggie is only used to with those she loves. It’s no shock to her that she’s falling too fast, too quickly but there’s a small part of her telling her that she might not have to worry so much this time.

Maybe, if she's lucky, she won’t have to worry at all.


End file.
